you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
