He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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