a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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