he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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