We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
50% drunk capacity currently
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
