I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
