Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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