I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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