I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
