yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
