we're blogging at a bar
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
