Do you still have your period?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
