Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
