How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
