I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
