I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
