can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize