Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
