Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize