Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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