yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
