8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Be still, my beating vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
