If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I forget how to act sober
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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