He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
