At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
