I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
