So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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