i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
