I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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