Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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