I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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