Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
