Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
