'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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