Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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