The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we have pet lesbian snakes
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
