yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
