So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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