you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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