I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
