idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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