i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
