Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
