How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
