omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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