I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i now understand why vodka
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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