Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
