We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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