Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
