The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
