He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
