OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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