He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
