i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
