was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You ruined the universe
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize