I skipped work to stalk him.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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