No, you can still breathe under the balls.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We had to coat check the pizza.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
