i barfeds in our rink
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
