I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
